So, I had to block a user today

(Veronica) #21

That’s not cool either, there’s no need to ‘educate’ someone that rudely passive-aggresive, especially a new person to the game. :frowning:

(Sherri Keller) #22

Hey, I got my own charmer today. Zero patience for this.

(Jaegis) #23

Thats actually one of my friends… He’s younger than most of the people here and didn’t really mean it seriously. I understand your frustration but I don’t think blocking him was the only option, unless more was said. A lecture would’ve been fine and i think he would have apologized (he better, at least, or else his parents will hear about it lol) if you had explained that what he said wasn’t cool :confused:

(JB) #24

Personally don’t think she was obligated to lecture the user. We have no way of knowing who is 5 and who is 65 on this site and it is not our job to lecture or parent anyone.

What happened here is that someone did not think before they wrote something and it was taken in an offensive manner. “Are you dumb?” is not a polite way to talk to anyone, especially someone you do not know and are asking a favor of - after all, trading really is just asking someone for a favor - for them to give up something they have and give it to you. This person had no consideration for how she felt, or even after more than one decline that maybe the piece wasn’t for trade.

And now, because of how this user represented themself, in a not polite manner, @sherrikeller is one less person they can trade with. And maybe more that see this thread.

Perhaps that’s the lesson.

(Jaegis) #25

I know I’m definitely biased because I know the person, but regardless of that or how they act I take the stance that there should be some discourse when someone starts with name calling. Obviously he wasn’t right in doing this, but whenever I’ve had spats with people on this site it’s been solved by talking. People have bad days, you know? Or sometimes they’re awkward and just don’t know how to communicate. Or maybe they’re just frustrated after a whole slew of declines trades. I personally feel that it would help to talk about it and see their reasoning for acting that way, and then maybe come across some general understanding between both sides. I mean, if they’re really an asshole they’ll show it in their responses if you try to have polite conversation. Not saying that it was a bad move on sherri’s part, but anonymity makes people act differently and all it takes is a reminder that we’re all real humans to set people back in their place. And yea, don’t think he didn’t learn his lesson. After this incident and my talk with him I think he understands this community a little better :smiley:

(Jaegis) #26

I may have had bad experiences on this site but I clearly remember a person who I am fairly good friends with now who responded to one of my trades negatively by expressing their frustration about a particular card trade where I offered an amateur series card for a pro series card… when both cards were from pro series. After explaining they promptly apologized and we’ve been on good terms ever since! Maybe I’m just too much of an optimist but you might miss out on a friend if you block people so quickly with only one exchange. Most arguments occur from the way things are said rather than actual content, which is why a lot more arguments are started on the internet. Anyways, I think I’ve explained my stance enough, just wanted to put it out there for the sake of discussion. Was that a good way to play devil’s advocate? xD

(Box) #27

I would hate to have to block someone, but sometimes people who really want a rare card try and try. They will spam trades. I try to let them know I don’t want to trade some of the cards I have even when they are dupes. Mostly due to me needing them for future trades. I’ve yet to block anyone, but I might if someone were to try and attack me.

(Sherri Keller) #28

Well, next time he might think twice before calling a stranger dumb.[quote=“jaegis, post:25, topic:1065”]
there should be some discourse when someone starts with name calling

Discourse? I’m not his parent, sorry. It’s not my job to teach him manners. He’s honestly lucky he got as civil a response as he did.

I am far from anonymous on the internet. I go by my real name everywhere and, other than the fact that I had to lock down social media yesterday because of a Facebook stalker, all of my social media profiles are fairly open.

I’m glad to hear he did learn something from all of this. Maybe this minor smackdown will make him think twice next time before he insults a stranger on the internet.

(Chris LeDoux) #29

I handle this by blocking. Ive never had anything like this but, I have had a guy tell me his girlfriend was in the hospital and he needed to finish a set to make her feel better. i’m paraphrasing, it was a lot worse than that, i blocked him on Neonmob but he is also on the facebook page and i just ignore anything he says or asks about.

(Chris LeDoux) #30

yeah, you are not obligated to interact with this idiot at all. blocking was the best thing to do.

(Jaegis) #31

I’m a firm believer in Hanlon’s razor and always keep in mind that people do mess up. I just don’t think it was worth so much to block him AND report him… Did he even get a chance to respond after your last message? People have called me a lot worse for not accepting trades but the matters got settled after more conversation. I guess our tolerance of bad behavior just differs way too much :laughing:

As for when I mentioned anonymity, your choice to be far from anonymous doesn’t stop others from being anonymous; my point was that when people are able to create accounts on the internet which cannot be traced back to them without more investigation, the worst can come out from them and they’re less likely to stop themselves when they’re about to do stupid things.

Finally, I just have a philosophy of giving people second chances when their first impression leaves a bad taste in my mouth, then allow their later actions to decide how I feel about their character. When I started twitter about 8 years ago (then left) I pissed off a lot of the fan base of a famous house DJ, and I just don’t want people on the internet to have bad memories like I do from their stupid mistakes.

(Chris LeDoux) #32

he needed to be blocked and ignored. Dude, maybe instead of lecturing the community on how to handle garbage traders, you go instead and teach your immature friend how to not have this happen to him again. since you know him and are so concerned for his upbringing. sounds like a teachable moment for both of you.

(Jaegis) #33

If I came off as abrasive in my previous message I’m sorry, but I wasn’t lecturing in any way, just presenting my perspective and clarifying my argument. And I don’t know if you read one of the original things I said, but my friend already learned his lesson. I in no way defended my friend’s actions, just thought the blocking was excessive in comparison to the other examples provided in the thread. Even if the person was a complete stranger I would ask about the severity of sherri’s reaction out of curiousity because to me, personally, one interaction of “dumb” is not comparable to an out of the blue “fuck you” or “your mom is not polite you suck” after a second interaction with (EDIT: Meant to say “after a second interaction”, not “continuing to be polite”) a person. Either way, I just thought it was a good point to gain insight on another person’s expectations because we have different perspectives and I seem to be playing devil’s advocate, as I said earlier.
As for

I’m not sure if this is an attack towards me for continuing this discussion, but if it is that’s not cool. :frowning:

(Chris LeDoux) #34

not an attack at all.

(Jaegis) #35

lol sometimes my somewhat lacking skill in interpreting statements on the Internet punches me right in the face

(Chris LeDoux) #36

yeah, i agree. i tend to not get in to too many internet discussions because at some point someone interprets a tone that isn’t there and then it devolves into nonsense.

(Sherri Keller) #37

Frankly, I just don’t care if I missed out on having a friend, because he was being a rude jerk. That he wasn’t as rude as the other examples on the thread is not the point.

There are a couple billion people on the internet. I don’t have the time to teach every anonymous rude person online what is acceptable human interaction.

You say he learned from this. Good. I hope he does better going forward.

(Larisse) #38

I admire your maturity and patience; I hope more people are like you. Unfortunately, most people I know (myself included) just wants to stay away from stressful situations like this, and one sure way for that is to block the person to prevent more interactions. While I think reporting isn’t very necessary, I also don’t think it’s too much, because it just somehow transfers the burden of communicating with the offender to the site team. That person might just be having a bad day, but maybe I’m also having a bad day, so the best course of action I can think of is cut communication before it becomes worse.

(Sherri Keller) #39

Bingo! See how I had to shut down all of my social media because of a stalker? That’s kind of a bad day :smiley:

When you deal with rude people day-in, day-out—and being a woman on the internet, I do—it’s exhausting having to ask them all to remember to be a decent person.

Also, for the record, I didn’t report him hoping he would get in trouble or anything. The comment didn’t warrant that, but I wanted to give support a heads-up, just in case this was an ongoing pattern of rude behaviour for him.

(Jaegis) #40

That’s what I was curious about! :slight_smile: Thanks for clarifying, I didn’t mind so much your blocking because if a person is rude then yes, ignoring and blocking is a good way of not dealing with it anymore. Reporting, however, seems to be a more serious matter and it was a little shocking to see that last part. In other games I play usually when you report someone there is an expectation of guaranteed punishment so I was curious as to whether that was your mindset, glad to see that it wasn’t!

Also, I forgot to say that I respect you for refusing to be anonymous on the internet, so many people are against doing something like that because of all the possible repercussions. It’s unfortunate that it ended up being problematic for you because of that stalker, but hopefully that situation gets resolved!